Confession FAQs

The season of Lent is a very good time to begin the practice of Confession, or to resume it if it’s been a while. If you are weighed down with guilt, you don't have to carry it alone. In the Sacrament of Confession, you are able to confess your sins to God in the presence of a Priest, receive counsel and comfort, and encounter the power of God's forgiveness. Over the years I’ve noticed that there are lots of common themes and questions, especially initially, that people have that I’d like to address here in the form of FAQs. So here we go:

1. Do I have to go to Confession? Can’t I confess my sins directly to God?

• Strictly speaking, from an Anglican perspective, the answer to that is “no, you don’t have to” in the sense that we don’t believe that God would withhold forgiveness from you if you don’t. God only withholds his forgiveness from us when we withhold our sin from him. Oftentimes people do not want to “go to Confession” because they want their sin to remain hidden. Confession is a gift given to us to help us bring our sin out into the light where we can receive God’s grace and forgiveness.
  

• This does not mean that we should not confess our sins to God in our personal prayer, because we most definitely should do that. The underlying thing here is what we might call the “sacramental principle.” That is: God uses the physical world to communicate his grace. In the Eucharist it is the bread and wine; in Baptism it is the water; in Confession it is the person of the Priest who embodies and represents Christ to us, so that we might have a tangible, physical experience of God’s grace. '

2. What should I confess?

• Some people will use things like the 10 Commandments or the 7 Deadly Sins to help them guide their Confessions. There’s definitely merit to this and if that works for you I’d say go for it. In many circumstances though, I think you should simply begin with whatever it is that is troubling your conscience; a little bit of self-examination beforehand usually reveals what needs to be confessed. And don’t be anxious about accidentally forgetting something, but don’t deliberately withhold or obfuscate either. Our sin will continue to live in the secrecy that we give it. The whole point of Confession is to provide the space to bring it out into the light. And yes, feel free to write it down beforehand if you’d like.

3. How detailed should my Confession be?

• It doesn't have to be long and full of details, but it shouldn't be vague either. You need to be specific and name the sin. This is difficult, but it's where the power of Confession lies.
  
  For example, don't say, "I confess to gluttony," but rather, "I've been abusing alcohol." Don't say, "I confess to lust," but rather, "I've been looking at pornography." Don't say, "I confess to anger," but rather, "Because of my anger I haven't been treating my wife with the respect that she deserves." The point here is that you think not only about the underlying sin (gluttony, lust, anger, etc.), but also the ways that those sins are actually manifesting themselves in your life.

4. Won’t the Priest judge me?

• This is a very understandable feeling. You have just shared some very difficult and private things. You may be asking yourself, “How could the Priest not judge me? How could he not see me differently afterwards?” Rest assured, we don’t judge. I think the reason for this is because, from our perspective, what we see is a very honest encounter between the Penitent (i.e. the one making the Confession) and God, and it is an honor to be able to bear witness to this. In the face of humble contrition, that is, someone seeking reconciliation with God, judgment couldn’t be any further from our minds. We also feel solidarity with the Penitent. This is why the Priest ends the Confession by asking the Penitent to, “Pray for me also a sinner.” We’ve been on the other side of the confessional too, several times! We know what it’s like.

5. Is it confidential?

• 100% This is what we call the “seal of confession” and it can never be broken, even with you - so don’t worry about the Priest bringing it up with you the next time you see each other. The code of the Priest is to act as though the Confession never happened. And we Priests take this seal very seriously; it’s sacred to us.

6. How often should I go?

• Individual practices will vary, but I recommend 1x every 1-4 months or so. However often you choose to go, you should make it a regular and consistent discipline in your spiritual life. Like so many other Chrisitan practices, the fruit of Confession comes over time.

7. Is Confession like Spiritual Direction?

• While there might be a little bit of overlap, these two practices are very different. Spiritual Direction is a pastorally directive conversation about your current life of prayer and the ways you are experiencing God in that. The Sacrament of Confession, on the other hand, is focused on the individual’s confession of sin and his/her reception of God’s forgiveness.

8. What is penance?

• After you confess your sins the Priest will give you a “penance.” This most often will be a Psalm, a Prayer, or a reading from Scripture. A penance is not an attempt to pay a price for sin, we cannot do that. The purpose of the penance is to help us turn our hearts back to God in prayer after we have turned away from him with our sin. It is also an act which embodies our contrition and our intention to “go and sin no more.” (Jn. 8:11)

9. What’s the format like?

• You can see the form for Confession by clicking here.

10. When is it available?

• You can reach out at any time to make an appointment. However, Lent and Advent, as penitential seasons, are particularly appropriate times to make a Confession. We will have sign ups available for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.

I think I’ve covered most of the common questions that I hear. If I’ve missed anything or if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out and talk to me about it. I know that Confession can be a difficult thing, especially initially, but it is something, like so many things in the Christian life, which rewards faithfulness and consistency over the long term. It gets easier and over time becomes for us an anchoring point of God’s continual mercy and grace.